Sunday, March 29, 2009

PTSD Healing: My Healing Anthem


There's a brand new blog called zebra's polkadots and plaids -- I'm in love with it already. The first post is about a beautiful song by Patrick Park that reminds us that "living in our past serves only to steal away our todays."

And it got me thinking how much we turn to and respond to art when we are grieving - for the past, for our lost selves, for our unclear tomorrows, for our abuse, suffering, and neglect. Sometimes the sound of a note, the turn of a phrase reaches out to us, clasps our heart, and lets us know we are not alone.

Zebra's post inspired me to post my own healing anthem: John Mayer's 'In Repair'. I first heard this song at an amphitheatre in August 2006 where I sat on a lawn with 9,000 other people in the sweet, dark, hot Florida summer night mesmerized by the sheer brilliance of Mayer as a blues guitartist and singer. I was struggling so hard to heal, and feeling so much like I was failing.

I was unprepared by how hard this song hit me, and for how it imprinted on me and gave me hope. Especially the last line: I'm in repair, I'm not together, but I'm getting there. Healing is a process. It may take long and we may not be ready right away, but every day we work at it we are getting there.

Here's the full set of lyrics....

"In Repair"

Too many shadows in my room
Too many hours in this midnight
Too many corners in my mind
So much to do to set my heart right
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair

Stood on the corner for a while
To wait for the wind to blow down on me
Hoping it takes with it my old ways
And brings some brand new look upon me
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unsteady
I am in repair, i am in repair

And now i'm walking in a park
All of the birds they dance below me
Maybe when things turn green again
It will be good to say you know me
Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready
Oh but if i take my heart's advice
I should assume it's still unready
Oh i'm never really ready, i'm never really ready
I'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there
I'm in repair, i'm not together but i'm getting there


And my favorite clip of Mayer's live performance of 'In Repair' at Webster Hall in New York City Sept. '06.

What's your healing anthem??? Leave a comment or shoot me an email.

(Photo: Jeff Kravitz)



6 comments:

Anonymous said...

music is the universal healer

The Blue Morpho said...

Wow, hard to pick just one song. I have a whole playlist of songs I use to help bring me up when I'm down. Not anthems, exactly, but motivators. Here's what I'm listening to at the moment. Tom Petty - Won't Back Down.

Well I won't back down,
no I won't back down
You can stand me up
at the gates of hell
But I won't back down

Gonna stand my ground,
won't be turned around
And I'll keep this world
from draggin' me down
Gonna stand my ground
and I won't back down

Hey baby, there ain't
no easy way out
Hey I will stand my ground
And I won't back down.

Well I know what's right,
I got just one life
In a world that keeps on
pushin' me around
But I'll stand my ground
and I won't back down

Alicia said...

Music is so powerful in every aspect of our lives - emotions, health, relationships, moods, even our thought processes. For me, no matter how I'm feeling, or how I want to feel, I always turn to Dave Matthews Band. I think the only thing DMB music doesn't evoke is anger, haha.

I don't think I've heard this particular John Mayer song, but the lyrics are wonderful. Thanks for sharing Michele!

Michele Rosenthal said...

@Blue -- Terrific song! Much more spunk than my choice. I see in your healing you put up more of a fight while I seemed to wallow a bit. ;)

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