Healing PTSD: 4 Ways to Support the Healing Process

Ever since we moved to Florida I get sick much more often and the colds last much longer than when we lived in New York City. I’m not sure why this is, except that it can be 80 degrees outside and 60 degrees inside most establishments, so your own thermostat is constantly being jerked around and sometimes, the transition just isn’t smooth.

The upside of these little colds is that they force me to slow down and give me more time to read. Last weekend was one of those weekends when I pulled the chaise lounge on my balcony into the sun and just tried to recuperate. While I did that, I read Wayne Dyer’s book, THE POWER OF INTENTION. I’ve referenced Dyer before, but it’s been piecemeal. My own introduction to him has been through his PBS lectures. He’s a dynamic speaker, but this is the first time I’ve ever sat down with him for more than a few minutes.

I decided to read THE POWER OF INTENTION to see if Dyer had any insights that would apply to how PTSDers need to access this internal source of healing. Lo and behold, he did! Today, reduced from all of Dyer’s ideas, a brief outline on the top four ways to support the healing process:

1 – Become indifferent to doubt. I’ve written about 4 ways to boost belief in your ability to heal . Here’s the crux of why it matters: Dyer says, “When doubt is banished… anything is possible. We all… use our thoughts to create the world we choose. If you doubt your ability to create the life you intend, then you’re refusing the power of intention.” The strength of our intention to heal is the foundation for our success. We cannot allow any cracks. (Later next week I’ll write more on this.)

2 – Remain confident that through reliance on your imagination your assumptions will materialize. According to Dyer, “… if we focus on what’s ugly, we attract more ugliness into our thoughts, and then into our emotions, and ultimately into our lives.” But if we use our imagination to focus on positive, healing and supportive thoughts – if we use our imagination to conjure the new person we wish to become – then we bring these things into our world. If the power of intention is the driving force of healing, the power of imagination is the fuel for that force. Give yourself permission to imagine the new you. Get into the habit of daydreaming. Let your imagination run wild!

3 – Reconnect to intention. Dyer writes, “When life appears to be working against you, when your luck is down, when the supposedly wrong people show up, or when you slip up and return to old, self-defeating habits, recognize the signs that you’re out of harmony with intention.” This whole month we’ve been working with the idea of intention as a way to kickstart the healing process. Dyer describes seven faces of intention and says the utilization of each aspect deepens and further supports the power of it. Those seven faces are: creativity, kindness, love, beauty, expansion, unlimited abundance, receptivity.

4 – Imagination is your new strategy. Dyer teaches, “Act as if anything you desire is already here. Believe … all that you seek you’ve already received, that it exists… and know you shall have your desires filled.” In the midst of PTSD it’s hard, so very hard, to imagine we will ever be whole and happy and well again. But look around you. There are people who heal every day, not only from PTSD but from much more horrible mental and physical illnesses. If they can do it, so can you. Practice the daily exercise of imagining the end result of every step of the healing process. Dyer calls this ‘thinking from the end’, an exercise I’ll elaborate on next week.

Sometimes, we all just need to take an hour (or two or three or ten!) to pause, to stop the busyness and make a space in which to think. This has been a busy BRIDGE THE GAP week. There’s a lot of work to do. Find a patch of sun somewhere. Pull a chair into it. Give yourself the space to work through this week’s exercises. Give yourself the gift of imagining who you will be when you have banished PTSD forever.

(photo: Will Fuller)

PTSD Healing Resolution #1: Defining What We Want, Part Three

The desire to be well is fueled by the desire to be free, which grows when there are reasons to be free. When we recognize there are things we could do if it weren’t for the fact that PTSD is getting in our way, then suddenly we have a choice: In the immortal words of Shakespeare's Hamlet, ‘To be or not to be PTSD-free.’

Our goal this week has been a 3-tiered process to set ourselves on the ‘to be’ path toward freedom:

1. Seeing what we desire to be rid of helps us focus on what we don’t want, which helps motivate change.

2. It’s also good to take a look at what we do desire. Becoming aware of what we want helps us recognize that we have a self who thinks of other things besides coping.

3. Today it’s time to turn the focus on that self. Who is it? To put it in Shakespearean terms again: ‘To be or not to be….. whom?”

Letting go of PTSD can be uncomfortable and scary. I mean, after all, by now PTSD has become a second self, an outer shell that keeps you safe. But you can’t be free if you don’t let go of that self. You’ve put on a costume and now the party’s over. It’s time to take it off.

Knowing what you want to change about yourself, and knowing what you want to do if you did make that change, leaves you only with one last component: knowing who you would like to be when your PTSD self steps aside.

Get out that paper and pen again. (You might want to consider investing in a notebook so you can keep all of your BRIDGE THE GAP work in one place.)

The purpose of the exercise today is to begin defining who you want to be without PTSD. At the top of a piece of paper write 'I want to be ….' Fill in the blank. You have free reign to choose anything! Think of yourself in all aspects, including professional and personal realms. Consider who you are in relation to friends, lovers, family, colleagues and of course: yourself.

For example,

I want to be an empathetic doctor.
I want to be more compassionate.
I want to be someone other people come to for advice.
I want to be more involved in my children’s lives.
I want to be a more caring partner.

[There’s a whole You to map out here, so take your time. You might want to break this exercise into categories. Go through the writing steps once just focusing on ‘family’ (‘I want to be a family member who….’, again just focusing on ‘friends’ (‘I want to be a friend who….’); focusing on work (‘I want to be a colleague who…’); on ‘lovers’ (‘I want to be a partner who…’); focusing on yourself (‘I want to be someone who….’).]

You know the drill by now:

Don’t try to think big or small, just think about the unended sentence at the top of the page. Sit still and let that inner voice work its way up through your center until the words come out. Who do you want to be? Who have you always wanted to be but been afraid to become? Who would you choose to be if PTSD wasn’t holding you back?

Set a timer for 5 minutes and write everything that comes to mind. Don't worry about or check spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. Do not edit your thoughts for brilliance or stupidity. Remember, there is no right or wrong here; there is only your voice on the page. When the 5 minutes is up, take a highlighter and read through what you’ve written; highlight the qualities that seem most important. This can be all or just a few.

Now, put those individually highlighted things into a Desire List so you can easily see them. Set the timer again – this time for 2 minutes – and take the first thing on the list; finish this sentence: ‘I want to be _____ because….’ If you finish before the timer goes off, keep writing about anything that comes to mind. The important thing is to keep writing. As you do, new thoughts about the original sentence will come to you. When they do, allow yourself to switch topics in mid-stream and get back to the original question.

When the 2 minutes is up set the timer again, take the next item on your Desire List and repeat the process. You don’t have to do this all in one sitting. This can be done over a series of days. The point is to continue with this exercise until you’ve written about each thing so thoroughly you know exactly why you want what you want.

Coping with PTSD can leave us very confused, and with little time to think about the type of person we want to emulate, the type of persona we want to present to the world; the type of individual we would most value, respect and be excited by becoming. That journey begins today. Who would you like to be a year from now? Imagine that person in Technicolor – notice the details of the face, the clothes, the career, the family, friends and lovers. Imagine PTSD falling away and the real you stepping out onto the stage.

I leave you with the full Shakespeare quote from Hamlet, in which the title character considers what to do in the wake of his own traumas (the highlight is mine):

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them?


(photo: Tabi Kat)

Tetris: A Possible PTSD Vaccine?

You’ve been doing a lot of good, healing BRIDGE THE GAP work lately. So, today is a game day, literally. What do you think of this?

A recent study out of Oxford University suggests that playing Tetris shortly after experiencing trauma may help prevent PTSD-related flashbacks.

According to a summary article by Jennifer Copley for Suite101.com:

In a recent study, researchers had healthy male and female volunteers watch a traumatic film, which included images of horrible injuries and deaths from numerous sources, such as anti-drunk-driving advertisements. Thirty minutes later, the experimental group played the video game Tetris for 10 minutes while a control group sat quietly, doing nothing. Over the following week, subjects kept a diary of flashback experiences.

The two groups scored similarly on measures of mood and trait anxiety prior to the study, and after watching the film, participants in both groups suffered a deterioration in mood, indicating that they had been psychologically affected by the experience. However, over the next seven days, the Tetris group suffered far fewer flashbacks. They also scored significantly lower on the Impact of Events Scale, which measures trauma symptoms, but scored as highly as the control group on a test of memory recognition, indicating that they had not forgotten the film.They could recall elements of the film by choice, but were not subjected to as many involuntary traumatic sensory experiences.

Tetris May Interfere with Aspects of Memory Formation

Prior research suggests that there are two channels through which memories are formed:

· Sensory, which records perceptual experiences
· Conceptual, which creates meaning from those experiences

There is a short window of opportunity directly after events have occurred during which the brain’s attempts to store memories are subject to interference. This window lasts for approximately six hours after an event. Playing Tetris, with its brightly coloured moving shapes, may disrupt some aspects of memory retention by interfering with the sensory channel without robbing individuals of the ability to derive meaning from their experiences.

Because Tetris is an interactive game, players are fully engaged with the new visuospatial elements, leaving fewer cognitive resources available to deal with other sensory information. The idea that certain visuospatial tasks compete for limited cognitive resources is supported by the fact that Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), a treatment for PTSD in which patients make rapid eye movements while experiencing traumatic imagery in their minds, is has proven effective in reducing the vividness of PTSD flashbacks.

Not all distractions will prevent or diminish PTSD flashbacks. Prior research has found that counting backwards or engaging in verbal tasks while watching traumatic material can actually increase the incidence of flashbacks. This indicates that distraction alone is not sufficient to lower the incidence of traumatic flashbacks; rather, it requires specific types of visuospatial distraction.

My question for all of you is this: Given what we real survivors know of traumatic experiences, do you think this study has any validity? For example, do you think in the 6 hours after your trauma you would have found it appropriate to begin playing a video game? Do you think you could have even focused well enough to play Tetris?

I’m having trouble believing in the promise of this ‘cognitive vaccine’ (as some are already calling this theory). It is one thing to watch a disturbing movie, and quite another to play the lead role in that movie. I’m not sure this experiment takes into account the extreme subconscious imprinting that goes on when one experiences trauma. Those safe, secure participants watching the film did not experience the terrifying psychological or somatic effects of being violated, rendered powerless or feeling life-threatened. If they were not part of the study, or not encouraged to document their thoughts about the movies for the following week, would these participants have even had thoughts about the movie in the days afterward?

I’m curious to hear your thoughts….

Is this Tetris study coming close enough to appropriating the traumatic experience for its findings to be relevant? If you do not experience even the smallest life-threatening or powerless feeling, can your response to someone else’s trauma matter in the realm of fact or healing?

(photo: Propagandalf)

PTSD Healing Resolution #1: Defining What We Want, Part Two

Well, were you surprised by all the things you desire about PTSD? Funny, isn’t it, how you can feel emotionally flatlined, but when given a chance to let some emotion bubble up you actually have a lot to say? I was surprised by this myself. When I received my PTSD diagnosis and finally began to understand what had been wrong with me all those years; when things finally began to make sense and I could target what I wanted to change about my life, I began to feel separate from PTSD. Whereas I’d been living as its captor, I suddenly began to feel it more as a condition and less of who I truly was. This little bit of space between us allowed me to see PTSD in its individual components the way we might see any competitor – and so I began thinking of it as such, and about why I wanted to beat it and from there, what I would do so that would be so and all of this want and why brought out a slow trickle of manageable emotions like a small army to support my quest for healing.

I’ve talked about desire before - as in, the desire to be well and the importance of our participation in that. Today though, I’m going to continue evolving that term (because the nuances of words, like we do, also change over time): I want to deepen this idea of desire to apply to what drives us every day outside of PTSD. In fact, today I want to forget about PTSD entirely. I don’t care about it. It’s not important. In constructing a post-trauma identity - which is the whole point of the BRIDGE THE GAP healing process - PTSD takes a backseat to YOU.

Beneath the PTSD symptoms, the real, untraumatized you has desires. You’re wrong if you think he or she doesn’t. The roar of PTSD is just so much louder than the voice of your inner self that if you don’t make the effort to listen you don’t get to hear the real you. When you wrote out your list of PTSD desires you began to listen to and woo your real voice. Let’s keep that up. PTSD plunges us into a deep internal silence. Part of healing is learning to make some noise.

I’ll give you a short example: Deep in PTSD, I graduated college and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have and couldn’t sustain any single motivation, desire or focus. I bounced around to a different job pretty much every year for 15 years. After I began trauma therapy (but before my PTSD diagnosis), the symptoms lessened enough for me to be a little more focused. I decided to take some time off from career hopping to investigate what I really wanted to do. It took six months of waiting for my inner voice to speak up and speak clearly, but when the answer came, I listened to it. I have been a writer since I was seven years old. The voice wanted to go back to school for an MFA in Poetry. And what did the voice want to do after that? It didn’t know, but I listened to it. I went back to school, and it’s amazing: when we do what we really want things begin to fall into place. Going back to school led me to fall into a teaching job, which led me into a university teaching career that I stuck with for four whole years before I moved out of New York City.

Desire to heal is strengthened by our desire to do something – what is that for you? Here’s your BRIDGE THE GAP exercise for today:

Get out that pen and paper again. At the top of the page write, ‘What I really want to do is…’ This can be career, family, lifestyle, sport --- anything.

For example:

I want to learn to kite surf.
I want to travel to the Galapagos Islands.
I want to take a cooking class.
I want to try golf.
I want to see the sunrise.
I want to become a third degree black belt.

Don’t try to think big or small, just think. Sit still and let that inner voice work its way up through your center until the words come out. What do you want? What have you always wanted but been afraid to try? What have you recently realized you desire in your life? I want, I want, I want… When was the last time your gave yourself permission to use those words? Life is about experiences. What experiences do you wish for?

Set a timer for 5 minutes and write everything that comes to mind. Don't worry about or check spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. Do not edit your thoughts for brilliance or stupidity. Remember, there is no right or wrong here; there is only your voice on the page. When the 5 minutes is up, take a highlighter and read through what you’ve written; highlight the desires that seem most important. This can be all or just a few.

Now, put those individually highlighted things into a list so you can easily see them. Set the timer again and take the first thing on the list; finish this sentence: ‘I want to _____ because….’ If you finish before the timer goes off, keep writing about anything that comes to mind. It can be what to buy at the grocery store or what CD albums you want to buy. The important thing is to keep writing. As you do, new thoughts about the original sentence will come to you. When they do, allow yourself to switch topics in mid-stream and get back to the original question.

When the 5 minutes is up set the timer again, take the next item on your desire list and repeat the process. You don’t have to do this all in one sitting. This can be done over a series of days. The point is to continue with this exercise until you’ve written about each thing so thoroughly you know exactly why you want what you want.

When you’ve completed this task, sit back, congratulate yourself and treat yourself to a reward. Go buy one of those CD albums. Forget about the groceries; take yourself out for a meal. It’s time to celebrate! You’ve just begun the inner dialogue that’s going to lay the foundation for your entire post-trauma identity.

(photo: Oh My Rachael)

Healing PTSD: The Power of Imagination

So, I have a new friend, A.D. He’s a runner and lives in the town next to me. He’s also a Vet and the sibling of a suicide. Suffice it to say, he has some experience with intrusive memories, disturbing emotions and anxiety. But from what I can tell, he’s a pretty together guy. He’s self-aware, holds a job and every day strives to better his internal perspective. I asked him how he does it. His answer: positive guided imagery. To which I replied, Tell me more!


How did you discover positive guided imagery?

I have been using positive imagery for many years. I was first introduced to it by Ed Lee and author, Agnes Sanford. Her books are about healing, and seeing the light in ourselves and others.
What is positive imagery?

Positive imagery is seeing yourself healthy and whole. I believe what we see ourselves as is what we become. We define our own reality, or we accept the reality handed to us. With positive imagery one sees himself moving through the negativity to a more positive perspective. it is like the scene in dune where he passes through the clouds picturing the outcome. From that I learned to imagine positivity ei healing, getting that job, winning that love. Now it does not always happen, but I can accept who I am and feel better by positive thoughts.

What is the process you use for your positive imagery practice?

The process is to quiet yourself first. I use some meditation books, like Days of Healing Days of Joy; Believing In Myself; My Daily Bread; The Prophet. All these set the tone to picture myself positively. From there I imagine myself in a positive light. I see myself happy and wholly healed. I imagine myself taking the steps it takes to get to that point for we cannot be idle; we must plan to reach that goal. You need to set time aside to regroup and plan ahead.

What meditation books would you suggest?

Believing in Myself and Days of healing Day of Joy, by Ernie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hagarly. Plus, My Daily Bread. But any meditation book can set the tone. It is important to find one that inspires you. There are many to choose from. They can most likely be found in the self-help section of bookstore.

What helpful tips would you give anyone who wants to try the practice?

I would tell anyone who wanted to try this to just “Do it!”. Long before Nike had that phrase a wise monk gave me that advice when I was whining about my life. "You want to know if it is right, then just do it." If you want to picture yourself positively or in another light: DO IT. Make your own reality. I am no guru or mystic (although I would like to be); just someone who loves life and wants to make it better. The joy is in the journey NOT the destination.

A.D.’s practice and thoughts are a great approach to changing the way we think and feel. According to Medicine.net, guided imagery has become so respected that it is now an alternative medicine technique “in which patients use their imagination to visualize improved health, or to "attack" a disease, such as a tumor. Some studies indicate that positive thinking can have an effect on disease outcome, so this technique is now utilized as 'complimentary medicine' in some oncology centers and other medical facilities.”

So, I’m thinking….. If positive imagery can help cure cancer, imagine what it can do for PTSD which is, in a certain aspect, repetitive negative imagery. If we replace bad images with good this will help support the subtle shifts we need to make away from trauma and towards a better, more joyful life.

For more info on healing guided imagery, check out:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/news2008-mchi/4403.html
This is an article from the world-renowned Mayo Clinic supporting the positive effects of guided imagery.

http://www.thehealingmind.org/
This site even has a free stress buster download.

http://healing.about.com/od/visualization/Visualization_Therapy.htm
Here you can find articles, plus a few exercises.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHPz1l_TaPY
Here’s documentation that guided imagery can also be very helpful for healing and easing health issues.

YouTube, of course, has several links in the results of a guided imagery search.

For general relaxation for stress relief:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ot8Jq-0tCFA&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPbfElXo5XE


I really love these Grant Barrett guides:

End of Day

Dream Journey

Healing Circle of White Light

In the Morning

Health Body & Mind


Finally, if you're feeling a bit undereducated in the 'how' of imagining, here's a three-tiered approach to refining your skills:

Develop Ability to Visualize, Part 1

Develop Ability to Visualize, Part 2

Develop Ability to Visualize, Part 3


(photo: 3abbas)

Healing PTSD, Resolution #1: Defining What We Want, Part One

So, now that your face is warmed up and you’ve spent some time forging the first small attempt to physically reconnect with your untraumatized self, let’s talk about the crux of who that self is.

It is not possible to survive trauma and remain unchanged – we all know that. But the truth is, we’re all changing all the time anyway. Trauma just makes us notice it in a bigger, more calamitous way. But think back for a minute. Are you exactly the same person you were at age 5? Age 25? Age (fill in the appropriate number)? The answer is, NO. We are always evolving in subtle ways, sometimes so imperceptibly we don’t even notice, but the truth is, while there is a core self, there’s also an evolutionary self. Our inner life is sort of like the solar system: there’s a constant sun, and then planets that revolve around it. In PTSD our solar system has been swallowed by a Black Hole, but somewhere in another galaxy the sun still exists and our goal is to get back into orbit around it.

Deepak Chopra explains it this way:

“I” never goes. Only “I am this or that” goes. Ultimately, enlightenment is for you to always be grounded in "I," but the limited, "I am this or that," goes.

You had a sense of "I" when you were a baby. You had a sense of "I" when you were a teenager. You have a sense of "I" now. You'll have a sense of "I" when you are an old person. But, in each of these cases that sense of "I" will be identifying itself with a different person. The baby's not the person you're in now. You have a different body, different ego, different personality, different thoughts, and a different way of looking at the world.

The problem with trauma is the shock. Rather than changing gradually from a child to a teen, we change in an instant from powerful to powerless. Over the course of any trauma, lasting one day or over several years, we can all think of at least one moment in which we felt ourselves violated and so immediately altered for the worse.

But we are mutable beings, with free will – we do not have to remain stuck in this altered, sad, horrible state. We can choose to alter again, this time for the better. The question is, How? While the answer and the path vary for each of us, the core for all of us is the same:

In order to revamp ourselves, we need to get back to basics, to know ourselves again. But not our traumatized selves. We know those all too well! Instead, we need to pull aside the curtain of PTSD and see who’s huddling behind there. What is his or her desire? Knowing who we are has a lot to do with knowing what we want. Which has a lot to do with healing and moving on to live a joyful, productive life.

Desire is defined as:

To want strongly; the feeling that accompanies an unsatisfied state; hope: expect and wish; an inclination; a natural state of longing.

You have those feelings over a lot of things. This week, as part of the BRIDGE THE GAP healing process we’re going to focus on reclaiming your desire.

First, we turn our attention to what those desires are in the PTSD state.

Today, let’s flex your desire muscle by getting a clear picture of all of the PTSD desires you have. We all walk around with this summary wish: I want not to feel this way. But let’s flesh that out a little.

Make a list of what you want that is PTSD related. For example:

I want the past to let me go.
I want the nightmares to stop.
I want the flashbacks to end.
I want to sleep through the night.
I want to not be so anxious.

I know I haven’t tapped out your daily PTSD-related desires. Add 10 more ‘wants’ to this list. And then keep going! I used to teach creativity and writing. One of my favorite exercises with my students was to give them a prompt and a time limit and then let them just free flow their ideas. The first things that come out are at the top of your consciousness, but the really interesting things surface when you’ve tapped the easy stuff and then keep on going.

When you have some time today, sit down with paper and pen. At the top of the page write, ‘PTSD things I want to be rid of’. Then set a timer for 5 minutes and write all of the PTSD symptoms and experiences and thoughts you want to end, be rid of and eliminate. Don't worry about or check spelling, punctuation, grammar, etc. Do not edit your thoughts for brilliance or stupidity. There is no right or wrong here; there is only your voice on the page.

When the 5 minutes is up, take a highlighter and read through what you’ve written; highlight the desires that seem most important. This can be all or just a few.

Now, set the timer again and finish this sentence: ‘I want to be rid of these things because….’

It’s not only important to know what we want, but why we want it. Understanding ourselves deepens and supports our intentions, which helps us focus so they can be achieved.

We spend so much time silently suffering, suppressing our desires, tamping down our personalities just so we can cope. Today, let your personality stretch itself a little, give it some exercise. Freeing ourselves from PTSD means freeing ourselves from everything about it. Give those suppressions a voice. I can hear them; they’re calling you.

(photo: tyla’75)

For Victims of Sexual Violence

While you're busy exercising your face, here's something else to smile about today: A great healing opportunity for victims of sexual violence.

You all remember my interview with rape and PTSD survivor, Kellie Greene, right? Well, I recently received an email about her advocacy group, Speaking Out About Rape (SOAR) .... I thought it might interest those of you who are dealing with the aftermath of sexual violence.

Hi Everyone,

SOAR® would like to extend an invitation to you for the upcoming SOAR SPA® (Something Positive Afterward®) retreat in Orlando, April 22 - 26, 2009.

SOAR SPA is a retreat for survivors of sexual violence designed to enhance the healing process by rejuvenating the mind, body, and spirit.

The program was featured in the April 2007 issue of SELF Magazine.

We hope you'll join us!

Blue skies,
Kellie Greene, Founder/Director
Speaking Out About Rape, Inc. (SOAR)
817-A Virginia Drive Orlando, FL 32803
407-898-0693
www.soar99.org


To view SOARSPA info click here.

Healing PTSD: Exercise Your Face

When was the last time you smiled? No, I mean really, really SMILED. Not the fake smile we plaster on so people don’t ask what’s wrong or believe the lies we tell that we’re ‘just fine’, but I mean a smile that was involuntary. When was the last time you couldn’t help it, your face just curved up of its own accord?

Can’t remember? I’ll be honest, in my PTSD days, neither could I. There were too many years when I only half smiled, or when I put on such a ridiculously big fake smile I don’t know how my cheekbones stood the test. We have pictures of me where the smile is so forced I look like I’m snarling. Come to think of it, I was snarling!

But it would have been so much better for me to practice a natural smile. According to research in this NYT article, A Feel Good Theory: A Smile Affects Mood, "putting on a sad face or a smile directly produces the feelings that the expressions represent...." In fact, the article goes on to explain that while facial expressions are not more important than thoughts in affecting emotions, "the physiology of facial expression [can be] a cause of emotions in its own right."

The bottom line: A smile can effectively induce the feeling it portrays – one of wellness, amusement, connectedness.

Think you’ve forgotten how to smile that way? Think it isn’t possible, that you no longer have the smile gene, have lost the muscle, wouldn’t remember how?

Well, my friends, think again! Your smile, just like your true, untraumatized self, lurks in the shadows of your mind. Today, let’s woo it out into the open.

A recent article, Smiles Are Innate, Not Learned, states that "… full-blown smiles … are hard-wired into our genes." The recent study suggests we contain "an innate ability to express certain emotions with gestures and facial expressions." Sorry, guys, you can’t escape DNA. Smiling is programmed into you.


If you need more of a concrete reason to smile, how about the fact that smiling actually has several emotional and physical health benefits.

(If you still feel a little rusty and need some advice to get going, read up on this How To Smile article. It’s so silly (including the advice to ‘Practice good hygiene’) it’s sure to, er, make you smile.)

But seriously: Practice smiling today.

You can do this alone. Smile at yourself in the mirror, or just walk around the house/town/city letting yourself grin. Think of something that makes you want to smile and let your muscles do the rest of the work.

You can do this to family and friends. Take everyone by surprise by bestowing upon them a genuine, loving smile. The people around you are living with your PTSD, too. Today, give them a break and let them see the real you for a moment.

Don’t want to smile at yourself or your loved ones? No sweat. Take your smile for a test drive with a total stranger -- although I wouldn’t suggest doing this on the subway in a major city! The most bizarre thing for me to get used to when I left Manhattan and moved to Florida is the crazy amount of smiling at strangers that goes on when you cross the Mason Dixon line. It seems in the South it’s taken for granted that smiling at a stranger is not only acceptable, it’s expected. In the spirit of this today, smile at someone who doesn’t know you. Let the real you shine through in a moment in which you won’t be held accountable.

Go on. Smile. Right now.

Think of who you would be and how much you would smile without PTSD.

Try it. I dare you.

(photo: jeridaking, Radicalwacko, Nathan Gibbs, Leah, Piouprod, Debra Peters)

Healing PTSD, Resolution #1: 4 Ways to Boost Belief in Your Ability to Heal

1 – Believe in the power of your own mind. Get hip to the idea of quantum physics and its ability to support healing. I know, I know, QM sounds freaky, but it’s really an everyday occurrence and we lay people ought to know how (and that) it works. On the most simple level, I’m talking about using the power of your own mind to boost your belief in your ability to heal. Quantum physics is a branch of science that deals with discrete units of energy (like, say, your thoughts) and how those tiny units of energy can effect big things. This article from Kirsten Harrell explains this idea and how it relates to the power of intention.

2 – Take some time to think about your ability to heal. Check out this ‘Believe You Will Succeed’ exercise by Nick Best. My discovery of his process began with an article he wrote called ‘Developing Self-Belief – The 10 Step Process’, which I thought laid out a great foundation for the development of belief in anything we hope to achieve, including PTSD healing. But then I read on and found that Best had actually devised a more deep and expanded process for getting down to our core beliefs and reinforcing them. Take some time to work it through as a way to bolster your healing intention!

3 – Get familiar with the fact that people self-recover from mental illness every day. It’s time to do some reading! And time to admit you are not unique, special or terminally chained to PTSD. The National Empowerment Center has tons of information and resources for healing mental illness -- not treating, but HEALING. As in, it can be done! Recovery, Inc. also offers a program and mindset that believes in the power of us to heal ourselves. Both organizations have good reading material as well as local options to support your healing adventure. On both sites you will find proof that regular people – that would include you – recover from serious mental illness all the time. Their secret? They choose to, and then they make the effort!

4 – Get a sense of humor. We have more strength to believe in the possibilities of what we can achieve when we’re happy, when we laugh, when we are amused. Staying stuck in our depression only further supports our belief that we cannot heal – a belief that is false. In order to support and enhance the belief that you can heal, you’ll have to actively take some time to lighten up your perspective. As you’ll see in this clip, ‘Medical Benefits of Laughter’ only 15 minutes of laughter a day can positively affect your physical body, which in turn affects your mental self, power and strength. Think I’m kidding about this? There is actually a model of therapy called ‘Laughter Therapy’ as you’ll see demonstrated in this clip. (It’s crazy enough to make you giggle just watching it.) But seriously, start to look for things to make you laugh. Watch a funny movie. Listen to a side-splitting comedian. Get into the habit of reconnecting to that self that thinks there is humor in the world; it’s also that self that contains hope, resilience and the ability to heal PTSD.

(photo: Steve Grunberger)

Children & PTSD, Part 2: What's the Best Treatment?

Today, Part 2 of my Children & PTSD interview with William Krill...

When should a parent consider getting treatment for a child who exhibits PTSD symptoms?

I think with children it is important to have a professional do an initial assessment and keep tabs on them for say, six months after a known traumatic event. I would educate the parent on what to watch for, and if symptoms reach the criteria for the diagnosis, begin to treat. But if a child does not develop Acute Stress signs within a few weeks after the trauma, it’s not too likely that full blown PTSD will develop. If the child clearly has Acute Stress, the sooner the treatment the better.

What treatments are available for children?

Most treatments for children are based on the treatment modalities for adults with PTSD. Early in my work with PTSD children, I tried using these methods, and tried to modify them the best I could to use them with children. I became quite frustrated because the methods were awkward when used with children, and with very young children, where insight and mature understandings of the trauma facts are used in adult treatment, children clearly did not have these capabilities.

In addition, one of the usual methods for adults, that of multiple detailed reviews of the trauma until the person becomes desensitized to the facts, was just far too brutal for a child. The ‘flooding’ method was developed for soldiers with PTSD…people who presumably had a very strong ego before their trauma. For a child who may have been abused his whole life and thus has a very damaged ego, repeating the details of the trauma over and over is just ridiculous.

I started to study PTSD in children and have been developing my own Gentling process for about twelve years. During the past six years or so, I have taught the method to many foster parents and other treatment professionals, and they have all had good success with it, where other approaches have not helped the child to make progress.

What I have developed with Gentling makes use of general cognitive-behavioral techniques, but with the addition of some very specific techniques and a loose structure course of treatment. Basically, Gentling 1) strives to help the child feel safe in all environments, 2) sensitizes him to his own symptoms (since he has lived with them his whole life, he does not recognize them as disordered), 3) educates him on how PTSD works in his body and mind, 4) teaches him how to interrupt his own stress episodes to be more comfortable, and finally, 5) helps him to become less reactive to cues and triggers. This is all done at the pace the child dictates, and all work is done with an exceedingly gentle approach.


How should a parent prepare to understand, treat and heal PTSD in her child?

Getting parents or foster parents on board the treatment plan is very important. I spend a great deal of time educating adults around the child (including teachers, extended family members, fellow professionals, even judges) in first fully understanding how PTSD works in children, and then in the Gentling techniques of healing.


One final question: Why do you choose to work with children?

I don’t fully understand my passion for helping abused children to heal, but it might be summed up by one little boy I treated. He had been beaten and thrown in a closet by his stepfather (who knew the boy was frightened of the dark), then the stepfather screwed the door shut. His mother found him hours later, when she came home from work. He was terrorized, and he had torn all of his fingernails off in trying to get the door open. After he related this story to me, he hugged me and said: “When I talk to you Mr. Bill, the hurt goes away.”

For more information on William Krill, or to view his really excellent resources, parenting articles and PTSD information, visit his site.

(photo: TiZi042)

Healing PTSD, Resolution #1: How To Build Self-Belief

On the worst day of my traumatic illness I felt myself dying – and I was happy about it. I no longer wanted to fight against what was happening to me, I no longer believed I would or could win; I no longer had the strength to rise up and resist the powerful flow of horrific events that were rendering me powerless.

And then I did, because my mother demanded that I try. She did not accept my non-belief in myself. She did not accept that I would let myself be carried away on a tide to non-being. She challenged me to believe in myself and in response to her unrelenting belief, I developed my own; some Superself in me rose up against what was happening and I survived.

And then I spent the next 25 years believing that that moment of surviving defined me. Believing that moment with my mother engaged some powerful self I never could engage (much less daily live as powerful as) again. I was so unconfident in myself that I constantly devised little tests to see if I could reach that extreme state of strength again. You can imagine what a sick way to live this became.

So, when it came time to heal PTSD I wasn’t exactly a candidate who was so grounded in her own self-belief that healing was a sure and easy path. I had to develop my belief. I had to find ways to increase it little by little. One thing that really helped me was to develop a new perspective about myself in my trauma. For example, instead of seeing that Superself as an aberration of me, I saw her as a part of me. I began to think of her as this dormant force I carried in me to be called upon and used whenever I really needed her.

Also, I began to see my ability to survive (and carry on and achieve a higher education, a career, etc.) as a strength. All of those PTSD years I felt like I was just coping, but I was also getting an MFA, carving out a career in New York City and managing to keep my PTSD insanity just controlled enough so that I continued to function (albeit not always well, and not always up to the pace, speed and standards of the rest of the world).

The point is, in order to heal we need to believe in ourselves and our own strength. Because trauma and PTSD rob us of good feelings about ourselves and our own power, it is necessary to proactively build back self-belief. Here’s an exercise designed to do just that:

1. Make a list of things you have done since your trauma. What have you achieved? Really think about this – and think outside the box. Careers and money are not the only achievements that matter. Perhaps you’ve raised a family, or taken care of an elderly parent. Maybe you’ve just held yourself together and averted a complete psychotic meltdown – that counts! Maybe you’ve coped with PTSD and still found time to volunteer somewhere. I don’t care what you put on the list. I do care that you make a list. Take some time to make a timeline. Begin with the date of your trauma and go until today. List everything you've ever achieved. For example, my timeline would look like this:

1981 Survive trauma
1986 Graduate high school
1990 Graduate college; land first job
1994 First stageplay produced
1998 Enter trauma therapy
2000 Launch new career

2001 Publish first trauma poem
2004 Graduate graduate school
2005 Relocate to Florida; receive PTSD diagnosis
2007 Heal PTSD


2. Stop to think about the strength you can already see you possess. What does your timeline look like? We are all so busy coping we forget to appreciate what we’re doing while we’re coping. We hold jobs, kick addictions, seek help and never stop to think about the strength it took to do any of that. But we should! Every small thing we do, whether it’s getting out of bed, finding a therapist or closing the deal of the century, is a measure of the strength we have. And where there is a little bit, there is a whole reserve that can be tapped. Look at your timeline; next to each achievement write down the positive traits and characteristics it represents. For example, mine would look like this:

1981 Survive trauma -

will to live, strength, courage, ability to transcend

1986 Graduate high school -

ability to focus & follow through

1990 Graduate college; land first job -

ability to achieve, desirable job candidate

1994 First stageplay produced -

creative, team player

1998 Enter trauma therapy -

realistic, brave, hopeful

2000 Launch new career -

resilient, daring, curious

2001 Publish first trauma poem -

accessing quiet voice, ability to speak out, unnumbing emotion

2004 Graduate graduate school -

multi-tasker, self-developing, stretching beyond comfort zone

2005 Relocate to Florida; receive PTSD diagnosis -

seek new experiences, good at life overhaul

2007 Heal PTSD -

work hard although frightened, push through

Look at the good traits I’ve had over the years! But guess what? I never saw myself that way. I saw myself as psychotic, depressed, unable to be happy or live like those around me. I saw myself as damaged beyond repair and in a perpetually necessary cycle of having to repeatedly test myself to see if I would be (both physically and emotionally) ready to survive again.

Beginning my path to healing made me recognize that I could not be well if I did not believe in me and the power of my own self. You need to do that, too. After surviving a trauma we are so stunned and paralyzed we don’t realize the immense STRENGTH it took to survive, which means we are innately strong – strong enough to do anything. Strong enough to heal. In fact, healing may take longer than the trauma, but it will so much easier than what we originally survived. It will require more work but will transform us into better people in the exactly inverse proportion that trauma transformed us into less.

Make your timeline today. Start to appreciate who you are beneath the veneer of PTSD. You are a survivor. You are a force. Use that to your healing advantage. Use it to believe in yourself and your ability to heal.

(photo: jimmiehomeschoolmom)

Children & PTSD, Part 1: Who's At Risk?

As we begin this new year tackling our grown up PTSD problems, let’s not forget the little people! Since my experience with PTSD began on the cusp of adolescence (and went undiagnosed until over 25 years later), I don’t pay much attention to the ways in which children suffer from PTSD. But I’ve been thinking about them lately, those little people who seem resilient but are often as affected by trauma as adults. My friend, Maria, for example, has a son, Ian, who is now 6 years old. A year ago Ian suffered from the same illness I did. Today, he’s experiencing the same PTSD symptoms as the rest of us and Maria is doing a really terrific job finding and getting Ian the help he immediately needs so he does not spend years lost in the PTSD maze.

Watching her tireless and inspiring advocacy for her child got me thinking: What is specific to children with PTSD? Which made me think of this Licensed Professional Counselor I’m acquainted with, William Krill. I first discovered him in one of the online PTSD support groups I’m in; his voice was the sagest, wisest, most educated in the group. You’ll see why when you read our interview below.

Krill has been kind enough to shed some light on the topic of children and PTSD. The cool thing about his interview is that it’s so educational. Even for those of us who don’t have this situation in our lives, maybe we will one day. Or, maybe we’ll meet someone for whom the info we pass along will be critical. And if that doesn’t happen, we can spread the word that children need special attention after crises because they can develop very adult psychological complications.

My interview with Krill breaks down into two parts, the first defining the problem, the second exploring the solution.

Today we’ll tackle Part One, Children & PTSD – Who’s at Risk?:

Define the age category 'child' encompasses.

Generally, children are considered under the age of thirteen. It’s not uncommon for emotional development to be halted at the age of the first trauma. Interpersonal trauma treatment (i.e. PTSD) does need to be tailored not only to the age of the survivor, but also tailored to the individual. Adult treatment approaches do not work with children. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of material out there for survivors of interpersonal trauma in general, let alone materials specific to age. I’m currently working on a book outlining the treatment approach I have developed for working with children. It’s called Gentling: A Clinician’s Guide to Treating PTSD in Abused Children.

What types of situations induce PTSD in children?

Just about any situation can create PTSD, from natural disasters to direct physical and sexual abuse to neglect. In addition, there is research to show that children can develop PTSD in domestic abuse situations where they witness their mother (or other close relative) suffering abuse. We don’t yet fully understand why some individuals develop PTSD while others do not, even though they have experienced the same level of trauma. Recent research indicates that there may be a difference in people’s brain chemistry that accounts for a pre-disposition to PTSD.

About how long after a trauma does PTSD usually emerge in children?

Not everyone is effected long-term by a trauma. While it is likely that with enough intense trauma, everyone would develop PTSD symptoms eventually, all PTSD starts with the diagnosis of ‘Acute Trauma Disorder’. Acute Trauma is essentially the same as PTSD, but it may in fact end in a relatively brief period of time. It’s only after Acute Trauma does not ease that the diagnosis of PTSD is assigned.

In most cases, there will be identifiable signs of either of the stress disorders if there is a close enough observation of the child. The problem is that many of the signs of PTSD in children often look like a different diagnosis, like ADHD or ODD. It is not uncommon for these children to be misdiagnosed as Bi-Polar. In addition, most PTSD victims, especially children, tend to work hard at covering their symptoms and do not share the fact of experiences. So, a child could go for years, even decades, before anyone recognizes the behaviors seen and labeled as PTSD.

What symptoms should a parent look for in terms of recognizing PTSD in his child?

For me the key has been to start with any known traumatic events, such as abuse events. When difficult behaviors symptoms develop, a connection with the trauma(s) needs to be considered carefully. PTSD in children does not express the way that it does with adults. While there are general similarities, I have found that children tend to have unique expressions, like a high incidence of nighttime enuresis (bed wetting) that does not respond to medicine or behavioral interventions. In addition, many boys also have encopresis (fecal soiling after successful toilet training).

By far the biggest marker is that the child will have rapid mood changes from relative calm and happy to highly agitated. I describe this as being like a ‘light switch’. And just as quickly as the agitation starts, it can end. Often, the child cannot tell you what it was that they were upset about. The upsets are often accompanied by regressions in speech, and the child may begin to speak in baby-talk, cry uncontrollably, and refuse to be comforted or touched. This all may be accompanied by facial and chest flushing, body tenseness, pacing or looking panicked, and one very reliable sign: pupil dilation.

Often, parents describe these upsets as ‘tantrums’, but these are not really tantrums because they are far more intense than tantrums; tantrums are usually about manipulating to get something. Rather, these upsets are more accurately called ‘stress episodes’.

What is the best way to prevent PTSD from occurring in children?

There is a great deal of controversy over the idea of rapid response to trauma to prevent eventual PTSD. There is research on both sides that indicate it is effective or ineffective. There is even some research that demonstrates that ‘critical incident de-briefing’ can actually induce PTSD. So the jury is still out on the best time to begin treatment. In my opinion, the most important thing is to place the treatment time and speed into the hands of the person with the PTSD. “Forcing” someone to talk about their trauma before they are ready would likely not be effective. A trauma victim has already been forced during the trauma, I wouldn’t suggest repeating that situation to help them!

(Part 2 of this interview will post on Thursday, 1/8/09.)

(photo: **LYN**)

PTSD Healing Resolution #1: The Top 2 Things You Need to Heal

So, here we are in 2009; the beginning of a year when our desire to heal and our deliberate participation in our own PTSD healing is going to move us closer to relief.

Let’s get to it. Resolution #1 on our list of Healing PTSD Resolutions: I will create a powerful healing intention.

When we embark on the road to healing PTSD there are two most important elements we need with us to create a powerful healing intention:

#1 – belief in ourselves

#2 – belief in our ability to heal

These two things combined and focused create the compelling intention, I will use my internal power to heal my PTSD.

Do you feel a deep belief in these two areas? If not, it’s time to focus on shoring them up. They will be the crux of how and when you achieve healing.

As in everything about PTSD healing, these two elements are ones we have to manufacture ourselves. We must have a deep, unswerving belief in what we want to achieve. We must put the desire to be PTSD-free, to live fully without the stain of experience, back into our daily thoughts.
Two years ago my mother gave me a book entitled, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION, by Esther and Jerry Hicks. First of all let me just say, I’m not a woo-woo kind of person. I was skeptical of the book, but my mother’s not a frivolous person and she did so much over the years to cheerlead and champion my PTSD healing. So, in the spirit of her intention I opened the book – and nearly closed it when the first 30 pages of introduction just seemed a little too far out of the cosmos for me.

But then I got to the first chapter called, ‘An Introduction to Being Well-Being,’ and I thought, All right… I like that. I want to be well. So, I kept reading and was swept up in the book when I came upon two Laws that actually seemed useful:

Eternal Universal Law #1 is: Law of Attraction: That which is unto itself, is drawn. “Because the Law of Attraction is responding to the thoughts that you hold at all times, it is accurate to say that you are creating your own reality.” (Italics those of the authors.)

We bring to ourselves what we think about. In order to bring healing we must, in every moment, think about and believe it its possibility, truth and achievement. Everything we do, say, think, desire must support the belief in our ability to achieve wellness.

Eternal Universal Law #2 is: Science of Deliberate Creation: That which I give thought to and that which I believe or expect – is. "When you understand the power of thought and practice your deliberate offering of it, you will discover the powerful leverage (in creating) that only comes from desiring…. When you … positively anticipate with your thoughts, the amount of action required is far less, and the action is much more satisfying. If you do not take the time to align your thoughts, far more action is required, without the satisfying results."

The power of our intentions can reap results. The more we imagine ourselves being healed and use all of our thoughts toward that goal, the more quickly that becomes our reality, and the more easily we will achieve it.

When I finished the book I was inspired by the ideas, but I didn’t know what to do with them. So, life went on and I didn’t think about the book at all as other things replaced it in my intention. But not long afterward I really dropped everything in my life that did not support, enhance or encourage my PTSD healing. My sole focus became proactively developing a mindset and experiences for healing. Within six months I was PTSD-free. Coincidence? Maybe. I’d already done a lot of work in trauma therapy and in my personal quest to construct a post-trauma identity, so I was primed for the last steps of healing. But maybe those two laws burrowed their way into my subconscious and were noodling around in there, giving added support to my own pursuit of joy which was, in its primitive state, my version of combining laws 1 and 2.

Think about the two Universal Laws today. How can you incorporate them into your own thoughts? Here’s an inspirational video to get you going. For the rest of the day take your own pulse: measure the depth of your belief in yourself and your ability to heal. The next two BRIDGE THE GAP posts will explore how to strengthen these beliefs.

We have the power to transform our lives – no matter what has traumatized and transformed us. That power is available to us today and every day. We must only choose to use it.

(photo: Loving Earth)

Healing PTSD: Words of Wisdom & Inspiration

The essence of healing PTSD is two-fold:

Number 1 – we need to rout out the traumatic memory on the subconscious level

Number 2 – we need to construct a post-trauma identity

That’s it; pretty plain and simple. In the subconscious realm where we house our feelings and emotions, where experience is imprinted beyond our control, we need therapeutic help to reframe events and release our attachments to them.

On the conscious level, however…. it’s a whole other ball game. In the conscious arena we can effect change through making decisions, committing to them and following through. Plan. Commit. Act. Heal.

This means we can construct a post-trauma identity – a new self, undistorted by trauma, unaffected by PTSD – through choice, focus and action.

This idea of creating the self is very familiar to creative artists. On the outskirts of society, unappreciated and initially undiscovered, many artists have had only their own self and their belief in that self to rely upon in practicing, promoting and achieving their art.

Like us, artists do not have the strongest social personalities, nor are they comfortable in their own skin, at peace with their desires or in step with the world around them. Often, they are reclusive, troubled, disturbed, insecure and frightened. And yet, despite the chaos in their minds (and many of their documented mental illnesses) they construct strong personas and commit to living them with fearless dedication. The end goal is their art, and they will do anything for it. Despite their mental issues they call up a deep reserve of strength and belief in themselves and achieve goals that seem out of reach.

There’s a lesson here for us PTSDers: The self can be consciously, practically, determinedly constructed. In partnership with trauma reduction therapies, we can and need to do self-directed work to design and inhabit a new, PTSD-free self. My own healing experience has instilled in me a fierce belief that the work we do on ourselves enhances and quickens the healing process.

Today then, some words of inspiration for this goal of constructing a post-trauma identity. Drawn from my extensive research on creative artists (I hold an MFA in Poetry and have lectured nationally on the topic of creativity), I offer these insightful wisdoms from some of the greatest artists in history, men and women who struggled with their own mental illnesses and social alienations to overcome doubt, insecurity and fear to achieve not only an incredible level of art, but also an intense richness of personality that supported them in anything they attempted to do.

I continue to believe that it is better to perfect oneself little by little and by one’s own efforts. ~ Camille Pisarro

At any age we grow by the enlarging of consciousness, by learning…. That implies a new way of looking at the universe. ~ May Sarton

… what I want to say is not more or less than that any man is unconscious of some peculiar great hidden force, deeply hidden in him, until sooner or later he is awakened. ~ Vincent van Gogh

Again I am compelled to state how I believe that attitude is everything. ~ Sylvia Plath

I wanted my world made in my own image, a world that would breathe my spirit. I made myself God, since there was nothing to hinder me. ~ Henry Miller

Don’t wait for it. Create a world, your world. Alone. Stand alone. Create. ~ Anais Nin

Do you have personal quotes about self-empowerment that you like? Add them below. The more we visualize who we want to be the sooner we’ll leave behind who PTSD has made us become.

(photo: The Dog’s Daddy)

How To Heal PTSD: Tap Your Inner Hero

Dr. Peter A. Levine has a unique take on the effects of trauma and how they are to be healed. In the introduction to his landmark book WAKING THE TIGER: Healing Trauma, he writes, “Most trauma therapies address the mind through talk and the molecules of the mind with drugs…. However, trauma is not… fully healed until we also address the essential role played by the body.” Through an in-depth explanation in the book he goes on to couple this idea with how the body and mind work together in the moment of trauma as well as afterward.

About WAKING THE TIGER Levine writes, “This book is about the gift of wisdom we receive as a result of learning to harness and transform the body’s awesome, primordial, and intelligent energies. In overcoming the destructive force of trauma, our innate potential … lifts us to new heights of mastery and knowledge.”

This is exactly what PTSD healing should be about. It should be about reclaiming our power, not reliving our trauma. Don’t get me wrong, of course it’s necessary to map out what occurred and examine and respect it and honor our experience. But then, it’s necessary to move beyond. We cannot heal if we drag around this old stuff in every new moment.

My trauma therapist put it to me like this one day when we were discussing my inability to finally ‘let it go’:

“Michele,” he said, “You’re like the survivor of a shipwreck who made it to shore by clinging to a piece of driftwood. Now you’re on land, and everywhere you go you continue to carry this soggy, waterlogged piece of driftwood. Put it down.”

He was so right. But when we feel traumatized and powerless and that becomes how we see ourselves and how we define our identities, how are we supposed to let that go? That would be like letting go of our own selves. But what if we replaced one damaged self with another healthy, strong self? Here's one idea of how we can do that: We must redefine our self-perception as a hero rather than a victim. We must find some action to take that replaces the inaction we felt at the time of the trauma. HEALING OURSELVES CAN BE THAT ACTION.

A little background. Studies have proved that those who act during their trauma vs. those who freeze, develop less aftereffects. Here’s an example that really interests and inspires me:

In 1976 in Chowchilla, CA, twenty-six children ranging from age five to fifteen were kidnapped and imprisoned in an underground vault in a quarry for about thirty hours. The children were stunned, terrified and immobilized by fear – except for Bob Barklay. When the roof of the vault collapsed and threatened to kill them all, this fourteen year old decided to dig a tunnel to freedom. This idea, which he executed with a single classmate, allowed all of the hostages to escape unharmed.

In follow up studies of the children, every single one of them – except Bob – exhibited severe signs and symptoms of long-terms effects on their psychological, medical and social functioning. Why not Bob? Levine explains, “By bringing the other children to freedom, Bob Barklay successfully met an extraordinary challenge. On that day … he was unquestionably a hero. … He was able to stay in motion and flow through the immobility response that completely overwhelmed and incapacitated the others….”

Many of us suffer from an immobility problem when we are traumatized, either physically or emotionally. During my own trauma I accepted that my death was imminent and did not engage to fight. (Well, I did fight at first and then felt the situation was more enormous and powerful than I was, so I stopped fighting and waited for death to come.) I was terrified and in a great deal of pain. I felt powerless and impotent and certain there was nothing that could be done to save me. I resigned myself to whatever would occur. I froze and dissociated and waited to be released from the horror.

When we survive our traumas, we must eliminate the after effects of our immobility. Sometimes, this immobility is what we do to live through trauma; it becomes a part of how we coped – and how we cope. But this causes a problem: Our minds and bodies become stuck in this aspect of the experience. We are traumatized and defeated and cannot imagine being cured.

But what if we were like Bob Barklay? He developed the idea to dig the tunnel when the roof collapsed; in the moment all seemed to be lost he found an idea that lead to everyone’s safety.

On our path to healing there are these moments when we glimpse a crack in the foundation of our trauma; when we see there might be a small inkling of a healing possibility; when we allow ourselves to hope for just a second that we might eventually be PTSD-free. --- And then we sink back down into our immobility response. But those are just the moments we need to do what Bob did! We need to ‘flow through the immobility response’ and take an action.

Recovering a sense of our own power catapults us down the path to wellness. Becoming our own heroes redefines our perceptions of ourselves and allows us to put down that driftwood after all. Mustering up the strength to heroically dig ourselves out of our PTSD hostage situation returns to us the power of which we were robbed.

We cannot change the past or our traumatic experience, but we can change the future and how we function in it. It all comes down to this idea of power. When we are traumatized we lose our power. When we heal we take it back. Rising up and committing to the challenge of healing PTSD can be just the heroic act we need in order to free ourselves from those heavy PTSD chains.

This can be done. This isn’t just me thinking it’s possible – I have done it through a rigorous, self-determined transformation, and you can, too. Healing is a choice, but like anything worthwhile, we have to work hard and fight for it. All the therapy in the world will not cure us if we do not participate in our own healing. We must dig our own tunnel to escape PTSD. In the end, we must become our own hero. Even Dr. Levine agrees:

“I learned that it was unnecessary to dredge up old memories and relive their emotional pain to heal trauma. In fact, severe emotional pain can be re-traumatizing. What we need to do to be freed from our symptoms and fears is to arouse our deep physiological resources and consciously utilize them. If we remain ignorant of our power to change the course of our instinctual responses in a proactive rather than reactive way, we will continue being imprisoned and in pain.”

Get ready: 2009 will be the year you begin to tap your Inner Hero.

(photo: Neville_S)

PTSD Healing: 12 Resolutions for 2009

Happy New Year! And welcome to a year when you can choose how your PTSD healing will progress.

To walk beside you in your quest for wellness, beginning today PARASITES OF THE MIND will feature 3 weekly posts directly geared toward prescriptive PTSD healing methods – that is, things you can do to proactively enhance your healing experience.

In addition, 3 other weekly posts will continue to address PTSD issues of awareness, education, treatment and healing (plus whatever else seems relevant!).

So, let’s dive in. The following list of resolutions are designed to build upon each other to fortify your healing focus and help you visualize the totally healed you. Drawn from my own healing experience, these are the 12 actions that finally brought me to where I am today - PTSD-free and lovin' it.

BRIDGE THE GAP: 12 PTSD Healing Resolutions

#1 – I will create a powerful healing intention.

#2 – I will talk.

#3 – I will reach out.

#4 – I will educate myself.

#5 – I will educate those around me.

#6 – I will seek help.

#7 – I will actively change my unhealthy perceptions.

#8 – I will deliberately construct a post-trauma identity.

#9 – I will set healing goals.

#10 – I will do whatever it takes to be PTSD-free.

#11 – I will do at least one thing per day toward my healing.

#12 – I will seek joy.

Have a resolution you’d like to add to the list? Leave a comment.

Got a PTSD issue you’d like to see addressed in a post? Feel free to suggest it by contacting me: parasitesof.themind (at) yahoo (dot) com.

Let’s heal together, and then spread the word that PTSD is treatable and curable.

If you’re still not convinced I’m right about this whole possibility of healing idea, I’ll leave you with this quote from Dr. David Baldwin’s fabulous website, Trauma Information Pages:

If we "know" there can't be a cure, we'll never find out if we were wrong. That is the danger I see in arguing "Why there can be no cure for PTSD".

I’m an ex-New Yorker; for many years the motto for our beloved Mets was ‘Ya Gotta Believe’. And so do you.

(photo: mrzeising)